What is my essence as an Artist?
For the longest time, people have asked me where I get my inspirations from… where did I develop this “unique style” of mine. And for the longest time, I did not have the answer.
But today… today marked the first time I had a slight inkling of that elusive “because…”. All because of a deep, intensive, intrusive, skilfully-manouvred conversation with this person, Oberdan Marianetti – CEO and Founder at Essence Coaching.
This is NOT an advertised or sponsored post at all.
This post is about my surprise and realisation of what makes me the Artist that I am. This is about my “Why” and what is driving my very distinct style of Art.
THIS, is about my essence – something that is very important for me to understand and own if I want to be a stronger Artist.
This is about understanding where that “whimsical, joyful, childlike” person comes from and how she can co-exist with that sensual, womanly, strong Expressionist and the traditional, conventional yet modern, Asian yet global Woman.
Paradoxes in some ways… for which woman, which human isn’t a paradox, really? Surely, that makes us human… all these different facets. Different layers and persons that different societies tell us is wrong to have or exist as.
As a budding artist, I was sort of warned by another fellow artist that I need to be careful to “hide and not mix” my “Sensual Art” with my “Children Art” because my clients may take it wrongly. They may feel repelled or put off by this ‘sexy’ part of that “should not” be in a child’s world. My response was “REALLY??”… “Seriously? But why?” – I asked naively.
Because, if you observe children – they are sexual beings. They know what pleasures them. They touch themselves…all in a very innocent way. Nothing sordid or dirty about it in their minds. Not at all. It is just an action they know that makes them feel happy. And they giggle. It is then US, adults, that tell them “Its wrong!! Do not touch yourselves!!” And when they ask us “Why mummy / daddy?” We reply… it is wrong! “But why is it wrong?” We are stumped.
But back to what I’d like to call my Epiphany for today is – it is OK for me, as an artist, to co-exist between these three personas.. these three distinct styles. Because that makes me who I am. I do not have to hide. I do not have to sugar-coat…because all these different layers makes me a good, complex, interesting, progressive human being.
Now, my challenge and task ahead of me is learning how to integrate these personas more seamlessly and express them more cohesively on one piece of canvas. Instead of three.
That, is my challenge.
Thank you, Oberdan, for your wisdom and for your generosity of heart. I appreciate you poking that bear in me. Thank you for reminding me to let go of my fears and love.
Thank you for reminding me to open my heart.
Live Happy. Be Happy.